Postscripts From The Catholic Spitfire Grill

Dave Armstrong brought it up and I thought to myself “Right ON! You GO!” and then Opinionated Catholic linked to it and reminded me all over again what deeply held opinions I have about this issue. When I was on the pastoral council (or parish council or whatever the heck they call it) in my parish a few years back, I repeatedly brought this topic up. Catholics should have Sunday School every. week. and not just for the children. “Oh but we don’t have room in our churches for that” I was often told. Well perhaps it’s about time we start designing our churches to reflect a priority on faith formation for all Catholics?

There is a reason that the stereotype exists out there that Protestants know their faith better than Catholics. It’s frighteningly true more times than not!! I’ve been told by well meaning clergy that I should not engage in faith discussions with Protestants because….well…you know….they just know their faith better. If that’s true (and unfortunately it usually is) then is the solution telling the laity NOT to defend their faith or is it to massively improve catechesis as ALL levels in the Catholic Church? As a former evangelical Protestant I can tell you that the answer to that rhetorical question is running through my mind right now in the form of a Sunday School song that I learned as a child when I attended Sunday School EVERY WEEK….”Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needth not to be ashamed…..” (It sounds great when sung as a round too.)

Frankly Catholics need Sunday School more than Protestants. We have 2,000 years of incredible scholarship to learn about not to mention that book “we” put together and agreed on in 397 at the Council of Carthage. As Catholics we have the fullness of the Christian faith….that means we have MORE to know. It’s time we started acting like it.

And while I am ranting. I used to teach the confirmation classes in my parish back before I started having babies. At the beginning of each year, I would ask my students to tell me why it was that they wanted to be Confirmed. You do not want to know how many students told me that they wanted to be Confirmed so that they didn’t have to learn about their faith any more. Hmmmm….wonder if the fact that these children never saw any adults doing any sort of faith formation had anything to do with that?

The Lord has obviously confused me for a saint and sent another computer trial my way. I am so CLEARLY not strong enough to withstand computer difficulties. I poured money into my wireless network last week and the good news is that when I get my new computer I am sure that my previous wireless headaches will certainly be reduced. The bad news is that it’s going to take a new computer to make that happen and the estimated ship date of my new computer isn’t until later this month….when I will be on vacation. For the near future blogging will be a trial because my internet connection is hogged by my dh on the flimsy grounds that he is using it for work…sigh.

Pray that Dell gets my new computer to me quickly. Did I mention I am not capable of withstanding computer trials? Just ask my children who made the mistake of actually trying to speak to me last week….

My best friend just spit something at her computer over that title. With luck, she even called me a name. Now I know you don’t know her, or me for that matter, but take my word for it. This is fun. Let’s just lean back and enjoy it for a moment shall we?

Ok. Moving along. This last week the topic of conversation that drew my participation on that Protestant homeschooling forum I hang out on was Mother Teresa’s “Dark Night of the Soul.” Apparently the imminent publication of her letters to her spiritual directors has sparked all sorts of speculation on the state of her soul. I won’t attribute the following quote to anyone in particular because as I understand it, the sentiments expressed in it are pretty common of late.

I wonder what was going on with her? She had such a heart for the poor and downtrodden, yet she was apparently faithless and miserable for the past 50 years. What could she have done differently? What could those in whom she confided her struggles have done differently to have helped her through her agony?

So many questions have run through my mind, such as: Was she reading her Bible most days? I know that daily reading of the Scriptures strengthens my faith. Did she take some time each day to seek the Lord’s face in worship and prayer, or was she so overwhelmed with caring for the sick and dying that she never took time for this vital discipline.

What Mother Teresa experienced and is described in her writings wasn’t burnout or ordinary discouragement is called the “Dark Night of the Soul.” This is a phenomenon experienced by many of the strongest and greatest of saints in Christian history and in Mother Teresa’s case lasted approximately the last 50 years of her life. It is not a true crisis of faith but rather a spiritual state in which the feelings of consolation that many of us rely on….that God allows to remind us of His Presence and His Love….are withdrawn. It is in that state that great spiritual growth can occur because faith becomes a complete act of will and a total act of trust in the promises of God. It embodies the scripture “even though He slay me, yet will I serve Him.” It allows us to make the act of faith, the act of will in favor of God. When a soul has no feeling of hope but acts on the promise of it anyway. It allows the soul to completely empty of the self and make rooom for more Jesus. Mother Teresa had reached a place of spiritual growth where she could say and mean, “Even though I have no feeling of hope. I will serve You completely, totally, and utterly, because I trust in Your Promises and Your Love.”

As for Bible reading and prayer. What is not commonly know is that the order founded by Mother Teresa is a contemplative order and NOT a service order. That means that these nuns who DO so much consider their primary purpose and task to be prayer. Mother Teresa commonly spent 8-10 hours a day in prayer. She read her Bible daily….a lot. Just in case you are unaware of the amount of scripture considered to be the minimum daily requirement for all Catholic clergy and religious I will direct you to this blog post of mine and this one. Her order and the rule that governs it, reflect this priority in her life.

The reason my best friend is calling me names is because she has experienced a “Dark Night” in her own spiritual walk and would hasten to tell you all that this spiritual trial is not just for the “Great Saints.” I beg to differ. We are ALL called to be great saints. Our Lord may put some of us in the limelight as examples but the obligation to be a great saint is no less for any of us supposed lesser souls. The Dark Night of the Soul is a difficult trial and perhaps the full manifestation of this trial is best reserved for those souls of great strength, but just as I believe the stigmata is a spiritual sign that is useful even for us weak souls, I think the Dark Night is a sign for us all as well. For those who endure the trial of the Dark Night, faith becomes an act of will. There is no feeling of comfort and consolation. There is no hint of “Well done, thou good and faithful servant”, but only perseverance and trust in the promises of a loving God that seems far away. But what about some of the other virtues? could it be that some of us called to trials that may be less obvious that a dark night to help us to cultivate other virutes such as charity and hope? The soul enduring a dark night develops a powerful faith because trust in our Lord comes from a voluntary act of will; thus, rooting faith to the deepest and most important part of ourselves. Could we not apply the same principle to situations of hopelessness and lovelessness in our lives? It is when we chose to love or hope in a situation where there is no hope and no love returned, that we begin to truly move from the shadow of hope and love fueled by natural inclination and feeling to the light of real hope and real love that is rooted in the deepest parts of our soul.

Often without even realizing it, Catholics say things all of the time that set the Protestant hair on fire. Most Catholics I know have a pretty good idea that Protestants think we worship Mary but they don’t really realize what it is that “we” say that gets them all riled up about it. Just start talking about Mary as a ‘channel of grace’ and watch them get really tense. Now I am not advocating purging this from our Catholic vocabulary but I am suggesting that we be prepared to toss a little water on those flames when we are given the opportunity.

How many of us have run into someone who is either about to purposefully jump into flagrant sin or is already there and is “enjoying” so much they don’t care to quit just then? The excuse given is that they will repent at some future point. Ignoring the fact that this is a sin of presumption on the Mercy of Our Lord, and ignoring the fact that we are not guaranteed a future in which to repent (I am reminded of the angel’s advice to the sinner in The Great Divorce….all moments are present in this one.) this is a dangerous course to chart because we become what we do. We cannot commit acts of selfishness and become selfless. We cannot commit acts of untruthfulness or uncharitableness or faithlessness and not have them cloud our conscience and prevent even the desire for repentance down the road. To deliberately turn away from Grace changes our souls. It wounds. It disfigures. Eventually we become like the sins we commit. (Please note that I am not saying that any sinner is beyond hope of salvation. Only that by deliberately turning away from God as I have described above so wounds us and so clouds our conscience that we become less able to even see the need to repent.)

I think it works in reverse as well. For example, the act of bearing a child transformed me into a mother. As another example, I have the privilege of being an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion. I assist the priests and the deacons in distributing Holy Communion at Mass and to those who are unable to attend Mass during the week. I have noticed that Our Lord has taken this thing that I do and used it to change what I am and this blog is part of that transformation. Just as Our Lord has allowed me to distribute His Body and Blood in the Eucharist, He has blessed that ministry and multiplied it like the loaves and the fishes to every part of my life. I bring Jesus in the Eucharist with me in other ways all of the time as I talk to people about the joy of being Catholic. The physical actions of what I do as a Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion has somehow been imprinted on my soul and I have become what I do. Does everyone who acts a Eucharistic Minister become one in other ways? Probably not. I am sure that it is possible to close oneself off to the grace that God would bestow. I know it is certainly possible to bear a child without truly becoming a mother. I also know that there are extraordinary means of transformation as well. Some people become mothers without physically bearing a child in their wombs. And I am equally sure that there are many Catholics who spiritually bring the Eucharist to others without having ever performed the act physically at Mass. Nevertheless, I think there is a profound connection and I personally observed a marked transformation in my own life that began with my becoming a Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion. 

How much more so for Our Lady? She bore Jesus in her womb. She shared Him with Joseph. She shared Him with the shepherds right after giving birth. (If you’ve ever given birth, think about the depth of that sacrifice!) She shared Him with Anna and Simeon in the Temple. She had Magi dropping by the house unannounced. She shared Him with the Apostles, the disciples, and all of those whose lives He touched while He lived on earth even though she probably could have used His help at home. She shared Him with all of us when He dies on the cross. What kind of transformation must have been etched on her soul in these acts of charity and obedience? She had a lifetime of sharing with others the Word of God, and the Source of All Grace. She was a channel of that Grace in life as she etched upon her soul and become what she did. Perhaps God could have and would have used another means to bring Our Lord into the world had Mary said “No.” The fact remains that she said, “Yes.” Through the disobedience of Eve, sin entered the world. Through the obedience of Mary, the God’s Son took flesh and dwelt among us and she was the channel of that Grace. If God’s Son was the source of all Grace, that she is the channel by which that Grace became man and dwelt among us. She lived a life of sharing that Grace with others on earth.  She became what she did and is privileged to remain so for eternity.

One of the attitudes I frequently bump up against in my discussions with Protestants is that those written down prayers that are used by many Catholics aren’t “heartfelt.” They aren’t “real.” Sometimes I have even heard that they were “wrong” to use and sometimes even sinfully so.

May I just pause here a moment and reflect on the idea that someone (and I do know this does not apply to all Protestants) who embraces sola scriptura would tell me that reciting scripture such as the Lord’s Prayer, the Magnificant, The Canticle of Simeon, The De Profundis, and many others is even a little bit wrong (just in case you didn’t know all of those prayers are just passages of Sacred Scripture)…..You know that just really hurts my brain.

When I was a Protestant (and for many years after) my prayer life…well….was a source of great shame for me. I would hear people say that they prayed for hours. Hours? I had trouble making it five minutes. I knew all of the acronyms and helps. I knew the ACTS model. I knew the little finger cues. I had books on prayer. I kept lists. I kept journals. And nothing helped. My prayers were flat and ironically, repetitious. But I studiously stayed far far away from those written down, rote prayers. I wanted my prayer life to be heartfelt and meaningful and I knew that those written down prayers would never get me there. Have I mentioned the appalling lack of humilty in my life?

In the end, I finally got to the point where I cried out to the Lord (Took me long enough.) and He said “It’s about time you asked. You know that rosary you told me you’d never use? Go get that.”

“Huh? No Lord, (that’s right up there with ‘but Lord’ for getting slapped around) you misunderstood me. I want a real and heartfelt prayer life. You can’t do that with the rosary.”

“I’m sorry RNW, but weren’t you the one asking for my help? How would you know that praying the rosary can’t be the beginning of a real and heartfelt prayer life? Have you tried?….now. go. get. the. rosary.”

I got the rosary. And as with so many other things I had scorned and scoffed at, it was indeed a source of great grace in my life and the beginning of my real and heartfelt prayer life. (Which, I should hasten to add, is far from as real and heartfelt as it should be lest you think I am any less arrogant than I was when I started this whole process.) In addition to the rosary, I have discovered that those Catholic prayer books that I had belittled had some real serious food for the soul in them….like so many other things Catholic that I denied myself, those written down prayers are a window into the prayer lives of spiritual giants and you know what? I have learned that I need to be humble enough to learn from them. They have written down prayers for things I NEVER would have thought to pray for on my own because I am just not charitable enough or humble enough or knowledgeable enough to even think such holy, charitable or humble things. Maybe rote prayers are crutches. I certainly admire those who have a rich and deep extemporaneous prayer life. I tried for years to develop one of those and I can confidently say that without the use of those crutches I’d have never gotten off the ground. Ironically, now that I use the rosary and pre-written prayers, my extemporaneous prayer life is also quite rich and healthy. Go figure.

All of this to say this. I have become quite fond of Catholic prayer books. I am always looking for new insights for my prayer life. I recently found an old copy of Blessed Be God (the link will take you to the reprinted verison which I didn’t know existed until I got my hands on the old one) and have really enjoyed it. Just the other day I happened on an idea that never occurred to me before the the whole purpose of this blog entry is to share that idea. I found it in the “Prayers for Mass” at the “Memento for the Dead”

I offer Thee again, O Lord, this holy Sacrifice of the Body and Blood of Thine only Son, in behalf of the faithful departed, and in particular for the souls of [here name who you chiefly purpose to pray for], my parents [if dead], relatives, benefactors, neighbors, etc. Likewise of such as I have in any way injured, or been the occasion of their sin; of such as have injured me, and been my enemies; of such as die in war, or have none to pray for them. To these, O Lord, and to all that rest in Christ, grant, we beseech Thee, a place of refreshment, light, and peace.

Now I am sure that many, if not most, of my readers are charitable souls that would have thought to pray for that part I put in bold type, but I tell you truthfully that until I picked up that prayer book and read, it never tripped even lightly across my mind to pray for those I had injured or those who I might have inadvertantly led into sin. Frankly, I had (ok, ok…HAVE) probably only the slightest notion of the injury that I have caused others and if I am being truthful the idea that I might have been an occasion of sin for someone else had NEVER occurred to me…..MUCH LESS to pray for these people. And I knew instantly that these people should have been on my prayer list from forever!! It took someone else’s thoughtfulness and kindness and holiness to spur me on. How many more years would it have taken me to develop the spiritual maturity to think these holy things ON MY OWN!? Personally I’m thinking forever wouldn’t be long enough for me to develop that kind of thoughfulness.

So it may be that those pre-written prayers are crutches. I salute those of you who are humble enough, holy enough, kind enough, etc. not to need them, but I need those crutches thankyouverymuch. I couldn’t even get off the floor, much less walk without them. So please, dear reader, if you happen to be one of those people who think that my prayer life would be better without them, I will concede that you may be right. If I was better and holier and more charitable I wouldn’t need these rote memorized prayers. Nevertheless, I will thank you very much to not attempt to kick my crutches out from under me.

Sarah of Just Another Day of Catholic Pondering has posted some blasphemy on her blog for the Carnival this week. You better run and give her a piece of your mind! Back to SCHOOL!? Watch me. I am putting my fingers in my ears and singing at the top of my lungs “LA-LA-LA-LA I can’t HEAR YOU!” I don’t have to believe that unless I wanna and I. don’t. wanna. 

[She said REALLY nice things about ME though. It was just that title that was a filthy lie.]

O God, Master of this passing world, hear the humble voices of your children. The Sea of Galilee obeyed your order and returned to its former quietude. You are still the Master of land and sea. We live in the shadow of a danger over which we have no control: the Gulf, like a provoked and angry giant, can awake from its seeming lethargy, overstep its conventional boundaries, invade our land and spread chaos and disaster.

During this hurricane season we turn to you, O Loving Father. Spare us from past tragedies whose memories are still so vivid and whose wounds seem to refuse to heal with the passing of time. O Virgin, Star of the Sea, Our Beloved Mother, we ask you to plead with your Son in our behalf, so that spared from the calamities common to this area and animated with a spirit of gratitude, we will walk in the footsteps of your Divine Son to reach heavenly Jerusalem where a stromless eternity awaits us. Amen.

From the Diocese of Lafayette