Friday | April 11, 2008

Unexpected Gifts: The Sacrament of Reconciliation

Sooner or later it washes over everyone who realizes that (gasp) God is calling them to the Catholic Chuch, the realization that sooner or later they are going to have to darken the doorstep of a confessional. It isn't usually a happy prospect. It certainly wasn't for me. If you're lucky, you'll have a few people who take you aside and tell you that it really isn't all that bad. Some may even tell you that it's a gift. I heard things like that people who like going to confession must be the sppiritual equivalent of those who get up and declare that they just don't "feel right" without running ten miles. Trust me. I feel just fine without running a single solitary step. In fact, I have decided that I do not need to get anywhere so quickly that I need to run to get there. Not even if there is a charging herd of water buffalo involved and I promise that I will never say to anyone under any circumstances that I just don't feel right if I don't run ten miles at the start of it. Rolling over and getting more sleep is just fine by me. I felt much the same way about confession as I do about running. Gift? Blessing? Picture my eyeballs rolling way back in my head and getting stuck there. But once again that was an appalling lack of humility on my part and confession is indeed a gift. Recently after I posted "How to Make a Good Confession" and someone who reads this blog shared with me some of the blessings she has received in the confessional. I ask for permission to post it here and she agreed. If anyone else would like to share the way in which the confessional has been a blessing to them, I think your stories might help those on the journey towards Rome. Funny stories are good too....faith isn't always serious. Send them to redneckwomandesigns [at] yahoo [dot] com and maybe we could put together some encouragement for others. Thank you 'L' for sharing this one!!
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I have been thinking a lot about why I am so drawn to the sacrament of reconciliation.  While it has been a wonderful, affirming experience each time, that's never what I expect.  I hang out my dirty laundry, but it feels like maybe Father doesn't realize how horrible my sin is or doesn't take it seriously.  I mean, he's supposed to represent God, right? And God hates sin, so he ought to at least be gruff about it.

A few weeks ago, I had something like confession with another minister.   He was disappointed in me, sighed loudly at what he believed was disobedience, and basically did what he could to help me walk out of there feeling awful.  I know that his intention was to motivate me toward further repentance, but what he mirrored was a god who preferred sacrifices rather than a contrite heart.  I would never willingly go back there.

Which experience was the way confession is supposed to be?  What is truly God's heart, and what is the counterfeit? I know what we heard in RCIA, but it wasn't yet anchored for me.

Yesterday morning, my small daughter was being very naughty, and she knew it.  She was dumping water on the floor with a glass.  So I asked her to hand me the glass.  She did, but she was angry and half threw it at me, and it smashed all over the kitchen floor. So I sent up a quick prayer that I would be able to respond in love, even though she had been driving me crazy. It was obvious by the look on her face that she was shocked and sorry.  So what did I do?

First, I told her to hold still, because she was barefoot.  I walked over to pick her up and move her to a safe place.  I snuggled her while I carried her, because she was sweet and sad and a little bit scared. Then I told her to go get some shoes on so that she could help clean up without getting hurt.  We swept it all up and threw it into the trash together. We wrapped the pieces carefully in newspaper before tossing them, so that they wouldn't hurt anyone who handled the trash bag later. When we were done, we went out to play.

And that was when I realized that my experience in sacramental confession was not some kind of fake; it was absolutely authentic. The counterfeit was what I anticipated in fear and misunderstanding.

Growing up, it was far wiser never to confess to anything, because the punishment was rarely related to the crime, and its severity could not be predicted, because it had more to do with my mother's state of mind than what I actually did. Even total accidents could be harshly punished.  My parents expressed their disgust freely, and even as an adult I know that they are deeply disappointed in me, my priorities, and the life I have chosen for myself.  Past spiritual/religious experiences have been more about people making sure I follow the rules, rather than being in a relationship. That's the baggage I take to the confessional; that's the fake.

The reality is what happened between my daughter and me. Repentance is met only with love, not scolding, not groaning disappointment.  I didn't ignore the shards of glass or take them any less than seriously--not when I had to walk over them barefoot!  She is my little girl; she knew she blew it, and our priority was to fix the damage together and keep it from hurting anyone else.  There wasn't anything to be gained by shaming her or making her feel worse.  That wouldn't motivate her to avoid smashing dishes (quite the contrary, actually!), but it would hurt our relationship and make it that much harder to be reconciled when she screwed up the next time.

Truly sacramental confession is about a Father and his little girl. She's crying; she already feels awful.  She doesn't need to feel the weight of His disappointment or disgust, and in fact He isn't disappointed or disgusted at all, because she is His little girl, and He knows that little girls blow it all the time.  They do it less and less as they grow up, but that takes time and patient guidance. Willful disobedience is met with consequences, of course, but a little girl who bravely climbs into her Father's lap and owns up to what she's done is met with compassionate hugs and love, and then He gets down on the floor with her to help sweep up the mess and throw it away. Then they go out to play :)

May God grant that I always mirror that kind of forgiveness, and may I never fail to be grateful when it is mirrored to me by others.

Posted by Red Neck Woman at 16:52:04 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

Sunday | March 30, 2008

Why Catholics Don't Discuss Their Faith With "You"

On the Protestant homeschool forum I hang out on I often hear about Catholics who are just "going through the motions." Now I am not living with any kind of delusion that all Catholics have a deep and vibrant faith and there aren't those who are indeed "going through the motions" but there are some things that make "us" reticent to be open about our faith. My best friend who was a Southern Baptist before she became Catholic said to me once, "I never understood why we never talked about our faith. Now I get it." The following is the explanation I provided on the forum....

I can't crawl inside your life and know about the specific Catholics you are referring to that are going through the motions. Maybe they ARE going through the motions. It's certainly possible. But as someone on the "inside" there are some things I think should be taken into account. I am on our Church's RCIA (RCIA classes are the classes taken by those coming into the Catholic Church or my Catholics who just want to know more about their faith) team and I do hear from other Catholics on the Sonlight forums that avoid LLL like the plague. I often run across Catholics who freely and openly admit to me (because I am "safe") that they happily play dumb for any non-Catholic Christian/Protestant who asks them about their faith. Yep. You heard me right. They actively avoid talking about their faith with non-Catholic Christians/Protestants. So let me tell you a little bit about what I see from this side of the Tiber.

I am NOT saying that all non-Catholic Christians/Protestants are like this but I will tell you that in the vast majority of cases, the only reason I get questioned about my faith is so that the other person can cultivate the opportunity to fix it. I wish I could say that these sorts of things were uncommon but they aren't. At least half of those in my RCIA class have family who are apoplectic about their conversion. I see it all the time in the Spitfire Grill as well. Those who convert lose friends and family. They are subjected to email campaigns from church members and intrusive home visits demanding an "explanation." One member of the Spitfire Grill was told by her pastor that their joining the Catholic Church amounted to an unforgiveable sin and they would NEVER be able to repent. I live in an area that was severely affected by a recent natural disaster. We took in many refugees from the hardest hit areas in our area. Our church does not have the facilities to actually provide shelter (by law....we'd be willing to try and make it work but the Federal government won't allow it). So instead of providing shelter, our church worked to provide supplies to other shelters. Our church took a pick-up load of supplies to a local church (not a small one) for them to distribute. The people that were about to unload the supplies asked where they came from. When they discovered they were from the local Catholic Church, they refused to take them. This church also refused to allow a Catholic clergyman from our parish to minister to those sheltering in their church....even though given the demographics of the population it is likely that there were Catholics in there. On this very thread we heard how a family member got angry and said that the Catholic Church didn't believe in the resurrection. My children have been told that they worship candles. Many homeschool groups are closed to Catholics. And then there are oodles of websites and organizations dedicated to saving Catholics from eternal damnation. (Google "Whore of Babylon" and see what comes up.) Time and again when I am teaching in RCIA, I hear from the students "You should hear what my [relative] says about THAT! She/he thinks I am going to hell and told me so too."

I wish I could say that these were isolated incidents but they are not. I've had things like this said to my face and behind my back. My children are openly viewed as a mission field by their non-Catholic/Protestant friends. I hear it from those converting to the Catholic Church across the country. Ask at your local homeschooling convention if they allow Catholic speakers or vendors. Ask for a Catholic book at many Christian bookstores. I've seen what has been said to high-profile converts such as Beckwith, Cathy Duffy, and the Donut Man. This is what Catholics hear from non-Catholic Christians/Protestants all of the time. Of course, it's not ALL of the time but it's often enough so that when most Catholic are questioned about their faith they see the questioner like this



and feel like this:



Of course some of us are just wearing feathers, doing our best bird impression, and chanting "Here kitty, kitty...."  but I digress....

Now besides feeling like the conversation is nothing but a set-up for converting you from the clutches of Rome, there is the sheer magnitude of what you've got to know to be ready for even the most basic challenges to your faith.

Consider what the implications are for unity in the Catholic Church. When was the last time you had to answer for the Salem Witch Trials? Probably never or certainly not regularly. After all, that was THEM and not your church. But when you are Catholic and you are ONE with those who came before you, you are answerable for the Crusades, and the Inquisition, and selling indulgences. Think about this, all the questioner has to do is come up with a few facts (often wrong) about these events and then sit back and say "well what about that? What about the Crusades...huh?"

How are YOU on Crusade history? Good enough to spot erroneous information? Can you name them all? Put them in historical context? Sort the good from the bad? Provide proof? On the spur of the moment? Can you do that for the Inquisition? The Reformation in Europe? In England? Offer support or context for the accusations made against the Church in South America? Galileo? The task is really quite daunting and the burden of proof is always placed on the Catholic.

Then there are those who go to website like this pick up a few quotes from encyclicals that they've never read and demand that we defend them. When was the last time you were called to account for a letter your pastor wrote 25 years ago? How about 250 years ago? Do you have all those letters? Read them all? Can you place them all in historical context? Can you explain the purpose for them being written? What was it in response to? Can you explain the changes in language and practice that relate to appropriately interpreting the meaning of those letters?

Or they learn what the Catholic Church teaches from websites like this and then the Catholic must first correct the incorrect statements of Catholic belief or complete those that are partially stated with official church documents. Only to have the questioner walk away and declare that they talked to a Catholic for [x] length of time and they never used the BIBLE! Maybe they'll even say it to our face. If they say to us that their church strives to be just like the Church of Acts, and we say but we have writings from the early church and they would disagree here, here, and here then we get the same accusation.

Then there is the questioner who has spent the entire conversation hammering away at the "You worship statues and dead people/Mary worship" lines, only to walk away and announce that Catholics never talk about their relationship with Jesus!!

When the Pope fails to stop people in the Philppines from crucifying themselves, he is not strict enough. But let them declare that marriage is permanent and that remarried Catholics must abstain from Eucharist and he is outrageously out of line.

As a Catholic, you end up defending every crazy thing that someone's aunt's cousin's priest said or did. You get to defend your faith from accusations made by people who say they were a priest (or nun or whatever) but were not. If you use the Catechism to show that the priest was wrong or out-of-line, then you get accused of not using the Bible. If you manage to balance the Bible and the Catechism sufficiently to make your point; then, you are the exceptional Catholic and they still believe all of the rest of them are wrong or "going through the motions."

Now please let me be clear, I am NOT offended by the questions you've asked. I believe that if I am going to claim a different sort of unity exists in the Catholic faith, then I am going to have to take the good with the bad. That means I get to talk about the Inquisition and the Crusades....although I am not particularly knowledgable about either. I believe that if I am going to claim that Jesus is really and truly present in the Eucharist and that it makes a difference, my non-Catholic Christian/Protestant brothers and sisters in faith can justifiably hold me to a higher standard. If I am going to claim papal infallibiblity, then by golly I am going to have to answer for 500 year old encyclicals so that means I need to own them and read them. And the Dogmatic Constitutions, and their source documents, and the early church fathers etc.

 I am only trying to illustrate that:

1. Catholics by and large have learned that Protestants/non-Catholic Christians want to hear about our faith for only one reason. It happens often enough that you enter such conversations with a great deal of caution.

2. Once you engage in the conversation, you can find yourself in WAY over your head even if you know the FAITH....simply because so many other issues are regularly the topic of conversation. And if you answer one question, the questioner immediately moves to the next accusation.

And that's why you may find that even the devoutly practicing Catholics that you know may be reluctant to open up about Jesus. If you want to hear what they really think, I would suggest asking in such a way that demonstrates good faith. (Not saying that you wouldn't be asking in good faith otherwise....only that it might be necessary to break through some previous bad experiences) If you want to hear about their relationship with Jesus, ask if you can go with them to Mass. Take them out to eat afterwards and ask them about the symbolism. Why did they do this? What did that mean? They may not be able to answer it all, but I suspect they they will be more open about their faith under such circumstances.
Posted by Red Neck Woman at 14:56:06 | Permanent Link | Comments (15) |

Friday | December 07, 2007

Do You Give Up So Easily On Jesus.....

Do take some time to read this story of the conversion of Fatima (not her real name). Just to whet your appetite, here are a couple of quotes:

As Fr. Bautista continued speaking with us, he described the fascinating story of a young Muslim woman who was entering the Church under his guidance through the RCIA process.  Her story was moving.  While working with Americans, this woman, who must remain anonymous, was touched deeply when she realized that the U.S. medical personnel not only treated wounded Americans and Iraqi civilians, but also treated wounded enemy combatants, including one who was known for having killed U.S. Marines.  As she put it, “This cannot happen with us.” ...

Since Father Bautista sees himself as a chaplain for all troops, not just Catholics, he decided to introduce Fatima to other chaplains from Protestant and Orthodox backgrounds.  After some time had passed, Fatima returned to Father Bautista and said, “I want to become a Catholic like you.”  When Father asked her the reason for her decision, she said, “You were the only one who told me about the other Christians, so you left me free to decide for myself.  That’s how I knew this was the right decision.”...

Here, in the same treeless, windy, dusty desert from which God had called Abraham, Christ had returned.  Now, through the hands of his servant priest, Father Bautista, a perfect offering was made to fulfill the offering attempted by Abraham.  And through this same priest, the Good News that was foretold to Abraham now returned to his homeland to bear witness to a courageous Muslim woman; a woman who was willing to sacrifice everything to know this Jesus who forgives even his enemies and who loves even the sinful Mary.

Posted by Red Neck Woman at 22:42:07 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

Saturday | September 01, 2007

My Story: An Appalling Lack of Humility

I've been asked to post this by many people and I've resisted for a long time because it's....well...so pathetic. There isn't a single glorious thing about it. The story of my conversion is one of idolatry, disobedience, and an appalling lack of humility and I haven't been miraculously delivered from any of them. It's been a long death-by-slow-slicing kind of struggle where Our Lord hammers me with a baseball bat and I take a tiny step towards obedience. But for some unknown reason, other people have told me that this is somehow inspirational. Would that be inspirational in a manner roughly parallel to watching horror movies for safety tips? No you should not decide to spend the night in the scary house and if you do, you should not leave the group to check out the weird sound because the weird sound will only be a cat if you are getting more money for making this film than all of your fellow actors combined. Wow....look at her! She shouldn't be that arrogant or disobedient. She's gonna get hammered.....suspense, suspense, WHAM!! So for your entertainment.....

I was raised by a very evangelical Protestant family with a strong non-denominational streak. I was baptized in the Methodist church but as we moved from one community to another my parents just found a church where we mostly agreed with everything that was taught and that met our family needs best. I also attended a Christian Missionary Alliance, Evangelical Free, and Presbyterian churches. I loved the churches I attended. I loved my Protestant heritage. Sure there were problems....congregations that ousted good pastors because they disagreed with what I considered to be petty things, church splits over what I believed to be serious issues, and more but I NEVER ever considered leaving my Protestant roots because of them. My attitude towards the Catholic Church was one of uncharitable arrogance. (The internet wasn't around then but I can certainly see the person I was then using sites like this, and this, or this. Sure they may not be the most charitable but as I've heard it said before, "The Truth is hate to those who hate the Truth.") I offer this information to those who would like to write off my conversion to a desire for the "smells and bells of Catholicism." I was happy where I was. I was not longing for anything else. I did not want to be Catholic. My family was active in my church. Our faith was very much a part of who we were. I knew the Bible and my faith very well. I was active in our church's youth group and in fact, that youth group formed the foundation of my social life.

This next part is still too personal to share with anyone in a venue like this. I have to know and trust someone very well indeed to describe the details of what happened next in anything but the most general of terms. As with many Protestants, the Catholic worship of Mary was one of my biggest "issues"....or what I thought was Mary worship and after all wasn't MY opinion the one that really counted? (Yes. I was that arrogant.) In an encounter that would have been only slightly more clear if an actual burning bush had been involved, Our Lord made it very clear to me that she was His mother and that She would do whatever He told her to do without consulting ME to see if I thought it was appropriate thankyouverymuch. I was left shaking and shaken and it was several nights before I could sleep again. When the adrenaline died a little bit, I realized the implication of changing my mind on this point. I said, "Lord, you want me to be Catholic don't you?" and the distinct but inaudible answer was "Yes, RNW. Not now, but soon." Well I was CLEARLY hearing things. God does NOT lead you into the very lair of the Whore of Babylon and I began to feel a great deal of sympathy for Jonah. Over the next few months, I relaxed a little bit. After all, I didn't have to be Catholic right THEN. Maybe I could get out of this somehow. Over the years that followed, God kept it up. He would periodically just whack me over the head with regard to my attitude towards Catholics and the Catholic Church and by tiny degrees. Very tiny degrees. Some people might not even recognize the change they were so tiny. I softened ever so slightly with respect to my objections to the Catholic church but I saw no reason whatsoever to become Catholic. None. Nevertheless, periodically in prayer I would realize where God was leading me and I would say, as incredulously as the first time, "You want me to be Catholic, don't you!?" "Not yet RNW but soon."

After about five years of this, I met the man who is now my husband and I knew the time had arrived to at least investigate seriously where God was leading me. I'd like to tell you that when confronted with the Truth of Catholic teaching, I repented immediately of everything and went running to the nearest Catholic Church, pounded on the door, and screamed "Let me in!!" God allowed me just enough understanding to see that I probably wasn't damning my soul for all eternity if I became Catholic. For reasons of previous life mistakes that I won't go into, it was not at all certain that my dh would be allowed to marry me so I did not convert at the Easter Vigil just prior to our marriage...I wasn't THAT convinced. So I was still Protestant when I married my husband from my home church and in good conscience signed the document agreeing to allow our children to be raised Catholic. Two months later I breathed, "Lord, I believe. Help thou my unbelief." and was officially Catholic. I figured God was bringing me to the Catholic Church to help them to reform it from the inside. God have mercy on me. Now would be a good time to meditate on those words I used earlier....an appalling lack of humility.

I know so many converts to the Catholic Church now and I have to tell you how deeply humbled I am that they are willing to examine the Truth and simply embrace it. It brings tears to my eyes now even to think about it. I was not that humble. Frankly, I was barely obedient and so arrogant that I figured it was the RCC that needed changing, not me. From where I am now, I can see why I was not allowed understanding of the Catholic faith. I had made an idol of my intellect (and frankly, of the Bible). I wasn't going to submit, until I understood. Now, as a parent, I am keenly aware that if a child will only do what you tell him/her if and only if he/she not only understands but agrees that we can generally call this not obedience but DISobedience. Ahhh....but when it shows up in my life it sounds more like, "Just help me understand, Lord, and then...." I had to get to the point where I said, "All right. I'll do it, even if I don't understand." in order to smash the idol I had made of my intellect. Slowly, issue by issue, as I surrendered the Lord took me by the hand and allowed understanding. Time and again, I had to turn to the Lord and say "Well how about that, they were right about that too." In the end, there was nothing for me to fix in the Catholic Church. It was me that needed the total overhaul. The nuts and bolts of what I've learned are written in the entries in this blog but what is often not apparent is the blessings and how very different the Catholic Church is on the inside compared to what it looks like from the outside. I never dreamed that the authority of the magisterium would give me more freedom and not less. I never dreamed being freed from the tremendous burden of getting it all right for myself, would release me to go somewhere with my faith instead of endlessly defining what I believe in. I thought that Mary would get in the way of a relationship with Jesus, what I found instead was the intimacy with Jesus that comes from being a part of His Family and from rightly acknowledging all of the family members instead of standing away from some of them. (Mary is close to Jesus. She bore Him in her womb. She shared Him in life and eternity...to be far from her is to be far from Him.) I learned that releasing sola scriptura allowed me to love Sacred Scripture more deeply since I was no longer using it as a means to keep myself divided from those who didn't believe properly (in accordance with my understanding) and I now take more joy in Sacred Scripture than I ever did before because it ALL makes sense. I am blessed beyond measure and I know that I am only scratching the surface.

So where am I now? I am not sure the exact day it happened but ever so slowly I realized that if something happened to my husband, I would not return to my Protestant roots and that I was all the way Catholic. I am still uncharitable, arrogant, and have an appalling lack of humility and it is only by the immense Grace of God that I am only slightly less so now than then. I want it clearly understood that I believe that the Fullness of Faith rests in the Catholic Church and that all of God's faithful children belong in the One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church. He has lead me home to the shelter of His Church and given me the gift of the Magisterium and the Sacraments and by His merciful kindness I will persevere to the end and continue to grow in holiness. That does not mean however, that I consider myself a better Christian than any of my Protestant brothers and sisters. They are my brothers and sisters in Christ and I am frequently and regularly humbled by their holiness. I am know without a doubt that there are many of my Protesant brothers and sisters who are better and holier Christians than I am and when you compensate for my lack of humilty I am certain that the number is even higher than I acknowledge but just as I am a better Christian because of my submission to the Fullness of Faith in the Catholic Church they could be better too. I fervently pray for complete unity among all Christians and I believe that is only possible within the Roman Catholic Church.

That others may become holier than I, provided that I become as holy as I should. Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it. ---from the Litany of Humility

Posted by Red Neck Woman at 18:30:38 | Permanent Link | Comments (5) |

Friday | May 11, 2007

The Counter-List

I just loved this post by Mark Shea I've been on both sides of the Tiber long enough to know of the vitriolic anti-Catholic "lists" out there. To my shame, I can also remember thinking that those anti-Catholic "lists" made a lot of sense and wondered how COULD those Catholics not crumble in the face of such overwhelming evidence? I know now why that is.

The first step in changing someone's mind is to respectfully and fairly present the truth of the other person's beliefs so that you may then diagnose the errors. It is from that position of mutual respect that you can decide who is right and who is wrong. I can't tell you the number of times that I tell Protestants who are trying to save me from the "Whore of Babylon" (To Catholics reading this who don't know that there is a subset of Protestants who call the Roman Catholic Church the "Whore of Babylon" I assure you that I did not make that up.) that I do not worship Mary or the Saints, only to have them slightly rephrase the accusation and re-state their case. How much sense does it make to convince me not to do something that I say I am not doing? Why not try to convince me of something that I admit doing that we disagree on.....like the Real Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist? I openly state to many of the people who disagree with me that I DO worship Jesus in the Eucharist and if that's not Jesus; then, I am guilty of the worst possible idolatry. And in the same conversation or the next day or the next week, I'll get told by the same person (again) how I am worshipping Mary, etc. Hello? I just ADMITTED worshipping Jesus in the Eucharist, should we not be talking about the Mass?

Now I am not a big name Catholic apologist like Mark Shea (actually I am not even a little name Catholic apologist...I proudly wear my Amateur Catholic Blogger Badge), so I don't usually get the anti-Catholic "lists" thrown at me on a regular basis, but I've seen them and have experienced the frustration of trying to correct the 'list-hurler' with correct Catholic doctrine/history. I don't expect that these people will suddenly throw up their hands and come runing to RCIA but why isn't there room to even adjust the "lists" with real information? Does it occur to anyone besides me that the "lists" are primarily to keep the list-hurlers in line? Is it like some religious version of the Berlin Wall? You tell one set of people (set A) on one side of the wall lies about what conditions are like on the other and tell them that they need to convince those poor people (set B) to move the the A side. So they send the A people go to the B people and tell them who awful it is where they live and how unfair their laws are. The B people get confused and say, "Look here is our law book....do you see that you are wrong? Look at our houses. We are thriving over here. Sure we have our problems but they are not what you think. Look here is a problem that we are working....." The B person is then interrupted so the the A person can repeat the assertion that was made at the beginning or perhaps a slight variation of it or perhaps the B person is presented with a "list" and told to simply think for themselves. The B person says, "You are mistaken A person..." but by the time he answers, A has gone home or gone to find another B person.... Are the lists then to prevent the "Chesterton Effect"? 

The convert commonly passes through three stages or states of mind. The first is when he imagines himself to be entirely detached . . . that of the young philosopher who feels that he ought to be fair to the Church of Rome. He wishes to do it justice; but chiefly because he sees that it suffers injustice . . . I had no more idea of becoming a Catholic than of becoming a cannibal. I imagined that I was merely pointing out that justice should be done even to cannibals . . .

The second stage is that in which the convert begins to be conscious not only of the falsehood but the truth . . . It consists in discovering what a very large number of lively and interesting ideas there are in the Catholic philosophy . . . This process, which may be called discovering the Catholic Church, is perhaps the most pleasant and straightforward part of the business . . . It is like discovering a new continent full of strange flowers and fantastic animals, which is at once wild and hospitable . . . It is these numberless glimpses of great ideas, that have been hidden from the convert by the prejudices of his provincial culture, that constitute the adventurous and varied second stage of the conversion. It is, broadly speaking, the stage in which the man is unconsciously trying to be converted . . .

The third stage is perhaps . . . the most terrible. It is that in which the man is trying not to be converted . . . He is filled with a sort of fear . . . He discovers a strange and alarming fact . . . a truth that Newman and every other convert has probably found in one form or another. It is impossible to be just to the Catholic Church. The moment men cease to pull against it they feel a tug towards it. The moment they cease to shout it down they begin to listen to it with pleasure. The moment they try to be fair to it they begin to be fond of it . . .

All steps except the last step he has taken eagerly on his own account, out of interest in the truth . . . I for one was never less troubled by doubts than in the last phase, when I was troubled by fears. Before that final delay I had been detached and ready to regard all sorts of doctrines with an open mind . . . I had no doubts or difficulties just before. I had only fears; fears of something that had the finality and simplicity of suicide . . . It may be that I shall never again have such absolute assurance that the thing is true as I had when I made my last effort to deny it . . .

At the last moment of all, the convert often feels as if . . . he is look through a little crack or crooked hole that seems to grow smaller as he stares at it; but it is an opening that looks towards the Altar. Only, when he has entered the Church, he finds that the Church is much larger inside than it is outside . . .

There is generally an interval of intense nervousness . . . To a certain extent it is a fear which attaches to all sharp and irrevocable decisions; it is suggested in all the old jokes about the shakiness of the bridegroom at the wedding . . . He wonders whether the whole business is an extraordinarily intelligent and ingenious confidence trick . . . There is in the last second of time or hair’s breadth of space, before the iron leaps to the magnet, an abyss full of all the unfathomable forces of the universe . . . That anything described as so bad should turn out to be so good is itself a rather arresting process having a savour of something sensational and strange . . .

(The Catholic Church and Conversion, New York: Macmillan, 1926, 57-66)

Are the lists then not primarily to help with the conversion of Catholics? (Although I will say that unfortunately an improperly catechized Catholic is all too vulnerable them.) Are they to somehow innoculate those who rely on them with a certain level of unfairness, to prevent them from becoming a cannibal...I mean Catholic?

All of this bring me back to Mark Shea and the counter-list I saw in the post I reference WAY back at the beginning. Is this being equally unfair to our separated brothers and sisters, or is it illustrating absurdity by being absurd? (I'm hoping the latter cause it really cracked me up!!) Enjoy!

Catholics are, of course, not without a sense of humor about all this. A friend of mine once concocted a playful "Protestant Inventions List" in response to the umpteenth email of The List he'd gotten. It runs, in part:

90 AD: Sunday worship taught by Didache
180 AD: God first declared as a "Trinity" of three persons by Theophilus
381 AD: Prayer to the Holy Spirit authorized by Council of Constantinople
397 AD: Book of Revelation, till now dubious, proclaimed to be "Scripture"
400 AD: Augustine invents "original sin"
418 AD: Salvation apart from Jesus declared heretical by Pope Zosimus
431 AD: Ephesus declares Mary's human Son to be God Himself
525 AD: Calendar for Easter Sunday instituted
950 AD: Invention of Bible in English
1215 AD: Declaration that God created the world "out of nothing"
1455 AD: Scheme for printing the Bible invented by Gutenberg
1760 AD: Singing of "Amazing Grace" instituted by John Newton
1776 AD: Protestant Founders of America downgrade Blessed Trinity to "Nature's God".
1825 AD: Altar calls instituted by Charles Finney
1863 AD: US Government enforces Thanksgiving to God as official state holiday
1864 AD: Mammon worship first authorized by United States Government. "In God We Trust" stamped on US money.
1900 AD: Light bulbs used in worship services
1929 AD: Wednesday night Bible study invented
1951 AD: Preachers begin to dress in polyester suits
1959 AD: Televangelism instituted by Pat Robertson
1965 AD: "Four Spiritual Laws" promulgated by Bill Bright
1969 AD: Unbiblical phrase "Accept Jesus Christ into your heart as your personal Lord and Savior" popularized
1970 AD: Overhead projectors used in worship service
1978 AD: Abortion declared to be a grave sin by Evangelicals
1991 AD: "Promise Keepers" founded on pattern of neo-pagan "Men's groups"
1998 AD: Sale and commercialization of WWJD bracelets
2001 AD: "Faith-based" Government founded by George W. Bush

His list is, of course, a deliberately silly concoction of inconsequential items, legitimate developments of doctrine, sinister-sounding-but-harmless adaptations of the Christian life to different cultural circumstances, and laughable twistings of the facts. But it's still an instructive rejoinder that points out an important truth: We do indeed have to think for ourselves—particularly about what "everybody knows" concerning the "pagan origins" of Catholic teaching. For this peculiar pattern of endlessly circulating and re-circulating absurd and sinister-sounding "facts" about the Catholic Faith is, not to put too fine a point on it, endemic in Evangelicalism when it comes to Catholic beliefs about Marian devotion and doctrine.

Posted by Red Neck Woman at 00:10:00 | Permanent Link | Comments (4) |

Sunday | March 25, 2007

What Compels Someone to Reconcile to the Catholic Church?

There are many Protestants who are convinced that a Catholic Christian is a rare thing indeed and many who believe that it is an impossibility. In some cases it is not openly taught, in others anti-Catholic vitriol comes from the pulpit and in official denominational teaching. For Protestants in those cases, it is a tough thing to do to even dip ones toe in the Tiber much less jump in, swim across, and get out on the other side. How does one go from thinking that the Catholic Church IS the "Whore of Babylon" to believing in One, Holy, Catholic (with a capital 'C'), and Apostolic Church? In my case, the Lord needed to deal with the sin of idolatry in my life. In order to break the hold that the idolatry of my personal intellect had on my life, it was necessary for the Lord to call me to the Catholic Church ahead of my understanding of (and agreement with) most Catholic doctrine. I came to the Catholic Church because the Lord made. me. Had an actual burning bush been involved it would have only been slightly more clear. Among my friends who will be reconciling to the Catholic Church this coming Easter Vigil and are several coming from the more anti-Catholic part of the Protestant spectrum and they have had to endure unspeakable insults to their intellect, integrity, and faith. Their willingness to follow the Lord no matter what has been a true blessing to me. One of them has written in her blog Profound Gratitude about the things that were most compelling to her in her journey.

Posted by Red Neck Woman at 00:10:00 | Permanent Link | Comments (2) |

Tuesday | November 28, 2006

Rejection or fulfillment?

 Someone who  is important to me has recently had the experience I probably fear MORE than the actual death of one of my children.  The child has come home from college as a self-described atheist.  In response the parent has remarked that people who convert from one significant life philosophy to another tend to reject the one while embracing the other. The first receives no benefit of the doubt whatsoever and is heaped with derision while the new philosophy is viewed is the warmest possible light and through rose-colored glasses.  I agree that is often the case but my experience of conversion from Protestantism to Catholicism is more along the lines of converting from Judaism to Christianity. Certainly someone who is Jewish and remains Jewish would see the conversion of a child from Judaism to Christianity as a rejection of Judaism; but, the convert himself  would like see his conversion as a fulfillment of his Jewishness in the same way the New Covenant is a fulfillment of the old.

I personally view my conversion from Protestantism to Catholicism as the fulfillment of what was hinted at when I was a Protestant.  I have also described my conversion as jumping from the swimming pool into the ocean.  Frankly, because I went to the Catholic church as an act of obedience and my conversion to Catholicism came afterwards, that was not at all what I expected to find in the RCC. I was in the water in the Protestant traditions I grew up in, I was swimming but I kept finding myself frustrated by my inability to go any distance. I'd swim endless laps but never really GO anywhere substantive. I'd try to dive deeply only to find myself hitting a wall.  When I try to describe what I have found in the RCC....the fullness, the richness, the JOY!!.....words start to fail me.  Does that mean I think Protestants don't have a full, rich, joyful faith? NO! It doesn't because I am not rejecting Protestantism as much as I am embracing the fullness of the faith I found there.  In fact, there may be many Protestants who in an individual way may have a fuller, richer, deeper faith than my own but I believe to the core of my being that every Protestant, regardless of their personal spiritual depth and maturity, could be deeper and more mature still by embracing the parts of Truth that they reject. 

Posted by Red Neck Woman at 12:21:39 | Permanent Link | Comments (2) |