Catholic Voting Guide for Nominal Catholics
Thank you kindly for the laugh Curt Jester.
I hate them. And they live at my house. My family LOVES them. They bring them home. They treasure them. They cherish them. And it’s ALL MY HUSBAND’S FAULT. I mean that sincerely. When we remodeled our kitchen and I had to pack everything in boxes for the period of time we would be living without benefit of kitchen cabinets, I had an entire box labeled “Stupid Plastic Cups” On finding this box, my dear husband came to me and asked where the box of “Good Plastic Cups” was. Funny. Dear.
For years, I have told him that the first thing I am going to do on hearing of his death is to purge my life of these plastic cups.
He’s updated his will. And left them all to the children.
Really.
10. Demonstrations and marches are good.
Eucharistic and saint-day processions are bad.
9. Incense at home to cover up that marijuana smell is good. Yay, Sanskrit chant!
Incense in church to waft prayers to Heaven is bad. Boo, Gregorian chant!
8. Renovating old houses and antiques to their original condition is good.
Maintaining old churches in their original condition is bad.
7. Indoctrinating children from birth to love peace is good.
Baptizing children soon after birth, and teaching them the Christian faith, is bad.
6. It’s good for kids to learn a second language. Bilingual education is great.
It’s bad for kids to learn Latin. Teaching Mass parts in Latin or Greek is abusive.
5. Early music is good, especially on the original instruments and for its original purposes.
Early music in Mass is bad, especially on the original instruments and for its original purposes.
4. Grassroots movements are good.
Grassroots traditional religious movements are bad.
3. Diversity and experimentation is good.
Diversity within religious tradition is bad.
2. Alternative lifestyle choices are good.
Chaste alternate lifestyle choices are bad.
And the number one contradictory attitude of the Sixties Bunch?
1. All life is sacred, and every person has worth and is good!
Babies we don’t want are bad.
To which the ever witty and funny Curt Jester added:
I’d love to hear more….leave them in the comments!
AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.
BULLETIN: Your receipt for attending Mass.
CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Parish to lip-sync.
HOLY WATER: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY.
HYMN: A song of praise usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation’s range.RECESSIONAL HYMN: Sung at the conclusion of the Mass, often more quietly, since most of the people have
already left.INCENSE: Holy Smoke!
JESUITS: An order of priests known for their ability to find colleges with good basketball teams.
JONAH: The original “Jaws” story.
MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.
RELICS: People who have been go ing to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand.
TEN COMMANDMENTS: A more important Top Ten List than any given by David Letterman.
ISTJ: Lord, help me to relax about insignificant details beginning tomorrow at 11:41:23 a.m. E.S.T.
ISTP: God, help me to consider people’s feelings, even if most of them ARE hypersensitive.
ESTP: God, help me to take responsibility for my own actions, even though they’re usually NOT my fault.
ESTJ: God, help me to not try to RUN everything. But, if You need some help, just ask.
ISFJ: Lord, help me to be more laid back and help me to do it EXACTLY right.
ISFP: Lord, help me to stand up for my rights (if you don’t mind my asking).
ESFP: God, help me to take things more seriously, especially parties and dancing.
ESFJ: God, give me patience, and I mean right NOW.
INFJ: Lord, help me not to be a perfectionist. (Did I spell that correctly?)
INFP: God, help me to finish everything I sta
ENFP: God, help me to keep my mind on one th - Look a bird! - at a time.
ENFJ: God, help me to do only what I can and trust you for the rest. Do you mind putting that in writing?
INTJ: Lord, keep me open to other’s ideas, *wrong* though they may be.
INTP: Lord, help me to be less independent, but let me do it my way.
ENTP: Lord, help me follow established procedures today. On second thought, I’ll settle for a few minutes.
ENTJ: Lord, help me slow downandnotrushthroughwhatIdo.
Does your KJV Bible have the uncorrupted KJV text?
Even if your KJV does prove to be a corrupted edition, it’s still WAY better than other Bible versions out there, so keep reading it. The corrupted KJV Bibles are still pretty good. A quick (and very abbreviated) test to check your KJV text is as follows:
1. Is the ’s’ in the word “Spirit” capitalized in Genesis 1:2 and Matthew 4:1?
2. Does it correctly say “Saviour” in Luke 2:11, or the incorrect “Savior?” Anyone can be a Savior, but there is only one SAVIOUR, and that is Christ Jesus.
There are many more things you could check, but if your Bible fails the above two, then you already know you have a corrupted edition. However, I’ve noticed that many KJV texts are fine, except for in Matthew 4:1. For example - that is how the Dake is. I just take my trusty pen, and capitalized the ’s’ in the word “Spirit” in Matthew 4:1, if that is the only corruption found.
All I can say is WHEW!! The Douay-Rheims is a GREAT BIBLE. It passes the Luke 2 test even though it flunked the capitalized ‘Spirit’ in Genesis and Matthew but I have it on good authority that all I have to do is whip out my pencil and capitalize them myself.
Yes I know she was talking about starting with the KJV to begin with but still….
